mindfulness counselling toronto

Mindfulness Improves Self-Esteem

Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of your body, mind, and feelings in the present moment, thought to create a feeling of calm. Have you ever practiced Mindfulness? Do you remember to remind yourself daily of the present moment? If your answer is no, or rarely, well, you should; it’s good for you. Mindfulness helps in reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. It helps you connect with yourself and be in the present moment, which makes you more relaxed and less worried. Additionally, research shows that mindfulness improves self-esteem and builds confidence.

How Mindfulness Improves Self-Esteem

The Institute of Coaching shared a great article about the impact of mindfulness on our confidence and self-esteem. Here is an interesting part of it:

“Mindfulness practice improves self-esteem.

Why would sitting and sensing the present moment improve our self-respect and self-value?

Here’s one way to think about it. Recall that a mindful brain state is one that doesn’t judge. It is simply open and accepting of the present moment. On the other hand, self-esteem is the conclusion one makes in the role of a judge of one’s status and role: “Am I enough? Have I accomplished enough?” It evolved as an essential biological force, ensuring our survival by keeping us ever-vigilant about whether we are meeting the standard set by our tribes, avoiding rejection and being an outcast.

Non-judgmental moments allow us to step off of the self-judging roller coaster, and experience, even for a few breaths, the natural brain-state of what I call “it’s all ok-ness”.

What a lovely place to sit and rest. You may want to become a regular visitor.”

 

Will you set time to practice mindfulness today?

 

Reference

Pepping, C.A, Donovan, A, and Davis, P.J. (2013) The positive effects of mindfulness on self-esteem. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(5), 376-386.

 

If you’d like to inquire about mindfulness or self-esteem enhancement in Mississauga at Real Life Counselling, don’t hesitate to call us at 289-231-8479.

overcome-your-fears

Overcome Your Fears and Transform!

I hear my clients struggling with different kinds of problems. Some are shy and have difficulties making new friends, some are constantly getting into conflicts, some are staying in destructive relationships or on the job that’s making them miserable, and some are dreaming about their perfect life without making any move towards it. This is just a teeny-tiny portion of all the different struggles my clients are facing; but every one of them is unique to that person’s life situation. However, one thing stands out as the background issue of almost all of the problems I hear about. It’s fear. Fear of rejection, fear of uncommon, fear of change, fear of failure. Even I myself was struggling with anxiety in public-speaking situations, which you can read about HERE. Additionally, many have no clue how to overcome fears, so it can all get pretty messy.

Once you learn to face your fears and stop running away from them, but instead do the thing despite the fact you’re scared, you’ll transform. You’ll discover there are many great opportunities you’re able to catch, you’ll learn to live the life you want and you’ll discover some awesome parts of yourself you maybe didn’t even know existed. Sounds exciting? I agree. But it needs work and effort.

I mean, if you have Trypophobia, you cannot get it cured in a day or two. Wondering what Trypophobia is? It is the fear of small holes, bumps, or patterns. So, individuals who have this phobia might also have hair transplant fear. The trypophobia resulting from a hair transplant is a response to the small holes that appear in the donor area where the micro-punch device is applied and the incision site where the extracted grafts will be placed. So, it is indeed true that such people may not be able to get a hair transplant done unless they make efforts to first cure their phobia. Remember that sincere efforts can actually help overcome any kind of fear or phobia.

How to overcome your fears?

The first step is to discover and make yourself aware of your fears. Second, and the most difficult step, is to face your fears. To let yourself feel the fear, and do the thing you’re scared of anyways. Only this way, you can come to the third and final step, and that is overcoming your fears and, with that, transform your life.

This is exactly what Susan Jeffers talks about in her book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”. This book contains tons of enlightening ideas and useful techniques that will help you get out of passivity-mode and start working on facing your fears. Additionally, Susan teaches you how to stop negative-thinking patterns and start implementing positive thinking into your daily habits. There is much more to this incredible book, so I recommend you start your transformation by reading it.

introvert

Are You an Introvert?

If you find yourself tired after being in social situations for extended periods of time, you might be an introvert. It is the type of personality that gets drained by social encounters. Rather, they find energy in solitude, opposed to extroverts, who feel energized by getting into social situations and avoid being alone.

Many misconstrue shyness with introversion, which can go together but don’t have to.  Yes, introverts can be shy people who find it hard to socialize, but many introverts are getting into social situations easily; they just prefer not to.

Unfortunately, today’s society is designed for extroverts, which we can see in almost every system throughout our lives, from schools to workplaces. Almost the whole system discourages introverts to behave in their natural way. Further, society is demanding socialness and talkativeness all the time. It became a norm if you want to succeed in modern days. However, it’s not all that pessimistic as it can sound at first.

Being an Introvert Is Your Power

According to author Susan Cain, introverts are deep thinkers who contributed most of the great ideas to this world. Thus, encouraging introverts by accepting them as they are is crucial if we want to continue having revolutionary ideas and great decisions in our society.

Can you relate to this video?

There’s something special about finding quiet, alone time. Letting go of all the demands, noise, and expectations we place on ourselves, and society expects, is something totally OK to do. Finally, it’s something necessary from time to time.

Take the next 10 minutes and enjoy the solitude.

reduce-stress

4 Tips To Deal With Back to School Stress

You are a busy professional. Summer is coming to an end. You feel the pressures, the last quarter goals of 2011 are at the forefront of your mind. The new school year is close, and the nervous tension that comes with these pressures can hit a family and business hard. Not only do you have your usual duties, but kids can also feel the anxieties of starting a new year, which can impact your business and personal life.

While the causes can be something other than work stress, here are the most common symptoms and early signs of stress:

  • Apathy
  • Anger/irritability
  • Negativism/cynicism
  • Low morale
  • Boredom
  • Anxiety
  • Frustration
  • Fatigue
  • Alienation
  • Physical symptoms
  • Absenteeism

But how do I beat stress and reduce signs of it, you ask? Here are 4 tips how to effectively do it:

1. Delete, delegate, deposit

Take 5-10 minutes at the beginning of your day to clear your desk , work-space, or living space. Doing so might help alleviate the sense of losing control that comes from having too much clutter. Keep your goals S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, tangible) helps maintain focus and control in your life.

2. Talk it out and find remedies

Sometimes the best opportunity to reduce stress is to simply share your thoughts with someone, either someone close to you or a trained therapist to help you work through the changes. Another thing is to do something that you enjoy. For instance, having the company of gamers and gaming can be great for stress relief. MMOs (massively multiplayer online games) are fun and would help you enjoy the company of different players. If you’re not so much into gaming, get yourself one of those fidget toys. These are known to help with reducing anxiety. Who knows, it might be a blessing when you’re thinking too much and want some form of distraction. You may find them on sites like SERP (https://serp.co/best/globbles-fidget-toys/).

Not only this, there is a variety of games available online, designed keeping in mind the specific wants of different people. While some tend to allow you to interact with strangers, some can also fetch you extra money. And apparently, money seems to be the relief for most problems. In case you are looking to explore more on this option, you could be benefitted by checking out the resources like casino-bonus.me.uk.

3. Laugh or allow yourself to smile

Finding humour in life helps us when we start to take things too seriously. Share a joke, a funny story, or watch stand-up comedies. If none of these work, you could try one of the CBD products from https://thecbdinsider.com which are known to uplift and aid with mood swings.
However, before you try it on your own, make sure to visit a doctor.

4. Change the situation

Remember the 4 A’s:

a) Avoid

b) Alter

c) Adapt

d) Accept.

If you remember the 4 A’s when it comes to stress, it might help you work through it.

Staying positive in this modern life is an important act for us all to practice. Coping with stress isn’t easy, but with a little effort, you will be back on the road to emotional wellness and well-being!

References:

Meyer,P. J. (2011). LMI Canada Inc: Personal Leadership, “Living with Purpose”. http://www.lmicanada.ca/EPL.aspx

work-life balance

Work Life Balance

Do you feel overwhelmed with work? Are you constantly tired and under stress? Your boss is calling you to ask just one more question about the meeting, you’re checking your e-mails on the evenings and you can’t seem to get that huge workload out of your head? Well, you’re not alone. Many young people feel exactly like this in the 21st century. As a matter of fact, a new study shows that Canadians are feeling lower levels of satisfaction with their work-life balance in comparison with eight years ago. This is the same period in which smartphones and internet became inevitable parts of our everyday lives. Coincidence? Didn’t think so.

But let me ask you one uncomfortable question: until when are you planning to go on like this? Can you imagine yourself in 5 years feeling the same? If your answer is “Oh, hell no!”, then it’s time to reevaluate priorities and make some changes.

What Is a Work-Life Balance and How to Maintain It

Greenhaus (2002) defines work-life balance as “satisfaction and good functioning at work and at home with a minimum of role conflict”. However, the expansion of technology brought pressure for us to be available in any moment of the day. This makes your roles in the workplace and at home hard to strictly separate, creating the conflict between them. In other words, technology is making it difficult for us to unplug and separate work from home. Further, our private life is suffering, and we’re feeling stressed and unhappy. Eventually, it takes a toll on your physical and mental health.

So, how to make the balance? Is there a way to be successful and maintain a fulfilling career while having enough quality time for friends, family, partners, hobbies, and yourself? Yes, there is. It is understandable that people may find it hard to find this balance, especially if they are used to working in an office environment. But it is not impossible to do. With articles such as How to Maximize Remote Working Experience During COVID-19 and these tips provided below, finding that work-life balance may be a lot easier to introduce to your daily routine. Additionally, some people actually prefer working from home. They find that they have a little bit more flexibility and many of them find that they can focus on their tasks more at home. Companies are allowing more people to work from home these days, especially if they’re using software from Mirantis (https://www.mirantis.com/software/docker/docker-enterprise/), for example. That software allows workers to access their work anywhere, meaning that more people can work from the comfort of their homes. However, this means that people do have to establish a work-life balance. You can get loads of advice about working from home especially due to Covid-19, where most people have been made to work from home, and therefore have to deal with their work-life crossing over with their home life. These tips will help you to get on with the work while working from home so you can meet all your goals, and attempt to assist you in limiting your distractions.

1. Let go of perfectionism – perfectionism was useful when we were kids, because it helped us stay on top of our obligations and get good grades. However, as you grow up, life becomes much more complicated, and in these circumstances, making everything perfect is often impossible. It’s the habit that works against you; the soon you learn to let it go, the better. This, of course, doesn’t mean to get sloppy and to stop caring about the way you do your job; it just means that you should strive for greatness, but not for perfection.

2. Unplug – Turn off your devices! Every time you jump to respond to that e-mail or the phone call from work while you’re at home, you’re sending the message to your brain that what’s happening at work while you’re not there is extremely important and that something catastrophic can happen if you don’t answer. But that’s irrational belief; if you stop for a second to think about it, you’ll realize it. But every time you decide to turn off your smartphone and make yourself unavailable for the next few hours, you’re sending yourself the message that your well-being and maintaining your relationships are valuable. Eventually, you’ll feel more in control of your time and your life.

3. Exercise and Meditate – Working out and sitting in silence are two incredibly powerful methods of taking control of your thoughts. If your mind is constantly shifting towards your work, practicing mindful meditation can do wonders for training yourself to stay in the moment and enjoy it. Further, exercise is proven to boost your mood; it’s an instant fix against feeling stressed or overwhelmed. If exercise and meditation don’t give you the desired effects that you were after, then don’t hesitate in trying an alternative method.

4. Limit Time-Wasting Activities and People – How many times have you caught yourself endlessly scrolling through social media, and feeling miserable after that? Or you said ‘yes’ to hanging out with people who are drowning your energy? Identify the bad habits you have that are swallowing your quality time and try to eliminate them. Next, make a list of priorities – what are the things you enjoy the most? Then devote your quality time to high-priority people and activities on your list.

5. Change the structure of your life – If there’s something that cuts your precious time, try to reorganize things a little. You don’t have to do everything by yourself; this is the perfect opportunity to soften the grip around the need to control everything and delegate part of your obligations to someone else. This way, you’ll make room for your higher priorities.

6. Start Small. Build From There. – Don’t put too high expectations in front of yourself. Start one thing at a time; and reward yourself for every small step you take toward your goal. Why don’t you start with this list? Trying to accomplish everything at once and create a work-life balance in a short period of time would be impossible, and you would soon end up frustrated and disappointed. So, one step at a time. Moving slowly is completely alright.

Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing great. Take care.

Reference:

http://www.gmferd.com/journalcra.com/sites/default/files/Download%20579.pdf