Have you ever felt like you don’t understand your emotions? Why you acted out in that situation and why you’re crying in another? Or, have you ever felt others don’t understand how you feel? Above all – are you running away from your emotions?
The most important thing in order to live a happy and healthy life is to learn to understand and express your emotions. They are of immense importance to accept yourself and others and to have healthy relationships.
Understanding Your Emotions and Feelings
Mary Buchowski-Kurus put together a nice article called “Emotions – How To Understand, Identify and Release Your Emotions”. It will help you recognize your emotions and feelings, understand them and manage them in the right way.
“Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation. For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.
John D. (Jack) Mayer says, “Emotions operate on many levels. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect. Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action. So, they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions.”
Emotions control your thinking, behavior and actions. They affect your physical bodies as much as your body affects your feelings and thinking. Thus, people who ignore, dismiss, repress or just ventilate their emotions, are setting themselves up for physical illness. In other words, emotions that are not felt and released but buried can cause serious illness, including cancer, arthritis, and many types of chronic illnesses.
I wholeheartedly recommend you to read the whole article here: http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html
As a little bonus, here is a beautiful video on emotions:
What is the lesson to be learned?
Tip: Listen for the total message. Hear what emotions are being shared, and how the person feels. Showing genuine care and empathy goes a long way.
The world is changing rapidly, and with it, of course, the requirements for being successful in the workplace. The World Economic Forum published a list of 10 skills that future employees will have to possess in order to be successful in companies they’re working for. The fact that #6 on the list is Emotional Intelligence speaks volumes about the importance of conquering this skill.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
According to Daniel Goldman, the respected author that popularized the concept of Emotional Intelligence and developed it further, it consists of five core components:
- Self-awareness – the ability to recognize personal emotions and patterns of behavior in various situations
- Self-regulation – the ability to manage personal emotions, and to express them maturely and with control
- Motivation – the ability to drive yourself toward goals through intrinsic motivation
- Empathy – the ability to recognize and understand other peoples’ emotions
- Social Skills – the ability to successfully negotiate, manage relationships and build networks
After Goldman’s fantastic books “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” and “Working With Emotional Intelligence”, it’s quickly recognized that having a high EQ is definitively more important for the success of the company compared to IQ. Thus, many employers look for the five basic traits of highly emotionally intelligent people when hiring, especially when it comes to managerial positions. But why?
The Importance of Emotional Intelligence at Work
To begin with, Daniel Goldman sums it up nicely:
Emotional intelligence does not mean being emotional – letting it all out. Quite the contrary – it means being skillful in the emotional and social realm. With neuroscience finding that emotions are contagious, and that they flow from the more powerful person outward, leaders are on the spot: your emotional state is contagious, for better or for worse.
When it comes to leadership, the success of the project often depends on the attitude and motivation of the individuals who are part of it. And who influences them the most? Yes, their leader. So, if the leader/manager have developed EQ skills, he will know how to motivate his team and pull out the best from them AND from himself/herself.
EQ is highly desirable even among non-leadership roles. Emotionally intelligent people are able to communicate and cooperate effectively with others, solve conflicts and manage their own stress successfully. Overall, high EQ employees are contributing greatly to the positive working environment. Who doesn’t want that?
To learn more about emotional intelligence at work, click here.