Yesterday I was waiting for the bus to take me downtown for a meeting. As I was waiting at the bus stop, a lady walked up to another woman and asked her if she could use a free pass. The lady being asked, looked a bit surprised, as if she was shocked to have somebody offer her something like this. Those little acts of kindness can have a huge impact on people on the long run, especially in relationships.
Random acts of kindness go a long way.
According to research by Dr. John and Julie Gottman, the positive perspective keeps the ship afloat. In romantic relationships, they say that it takes 5 positive interactions to weigh 1 negative interaction. In other words, if the ratio of positive to negative interaction during the conflict was greater than or equal to 5:1 then couples were more or less stable and happy.
If you want to learn more about the 5:1, you can watch Dr. Gottman’s video here:
Have you noticed the 5:1 in your life? How do you feel after a conflict? Do you notice it takes time to heal the wounds?
Why not embrace the positive and share acts of kindness today!
Shyness is the feeling of awkwardness or apprehension when approaching or being approached by unfamiliar people. Shyness is not the same as introversion. Introverts feel energized by time alone. Differently, shy people often want to sincerely connect with others, but don’t know how to approach. Also, they can be fearful of the reaction or results that will come by making the first step or initiating contact. In other words, they want to get in social situations, but often don’t know how to overcome shyness.
The experience of shyness can occur at any or all of the following levels:
- Cognitive (e.g., excessive negative self-evaluation)
- Affective (e.g., heightened negative emotion)
- Physiological (e.g., racing heart, blushing)
- Behavioural (e.g., failure to respond appropriately, avoiding certain situations).
Most shyness tends to occur around interactions with authorities and strangers, or, one-on-one opposite-sex interactions. In addition, unstructured social settings can also precipitate shyness.
Here are 6 Tips on How to Overcome Shyness and Embrace Your Socialness:
- Visualize a Positive Outcome
- Turn Self-Talk to Positive
- Do something uncomfortable and get out of your comfort zone. Just Do It!
- Ask Questions
- Remind Yourself Of Your Strengths
- Worry Less About What Others Think
Go ahead, you got this!