|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on November 23, 2012 at 8:55 PM|
Two Basic Emotions In Life – Love and Fear
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on November 23, 2012 at 8:45 PM|
"Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation. For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.
John D. (Jack) Mayer says, “Emotions operate on many levels. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect. Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions.”
Here is a beautiful video on emotions. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=armP8TfS9Is#at=99
What is the lesson to be learned?
Tip: Listen for the total message. Hear what emotions are being shared, and how the person feels. Showing geuine care and empathy goes a long way.
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on October 26, 2012 at 8:55 PM|
Frequently in my practice I have individuals share their struggles with making life decisions. These decisions revolve around: What to do next? To stay with my partner or to leave? To find a new career or put up with my current? etc.
There really isn't an easy answer to these questions. We will all encounter various transitions in our lives and some of the answers or paths to making these decisions will come easier than others.
Clients Ask: How can I make the transition during this decision making proces easier?
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on July 11, 2012 at 4:40 PM|
Dr. John Gottman and his team share some insight into how to make your relationship more successful:
"Our research shows that the more open you are to accepting influence from your partner, the stronger the positive perspective, mutual respect, and trust will be in your relationship. Having these components in your relationship helps you and your partner to face the world together with greater confidence that comes from being supported and feeling that you are a part of a team."
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on May 4, 2012 at 9:00 PM|
The life of an introvert.
Can you relate to this video?
There's something special about finding quiet, alone time, and letting go of all the demands, noise, and expectations we place on ourselves, and society expects.
Take the next 10 minutes and enjoy the solitude.
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on March 27, 2012 at 11:10 AM|
"In our studies we found that couples who were divorced 6 years after their wedding turned toward each other only 33% of the time; the ones still together after six years had an 86% turning-toward rate." (The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman) The bottom line is that it is easy to get caught up in other things, but make an effort to turn towards one another and you're relationship will be all the better for it. K.Ramsburgh TGI staff.
"Going to someone for comfort is a Bid for Connection. Turning Towards is any form of communication both verbal and non-verbal which communicates that I hear you or see that you are making a Bid to Connect, and I am Turning Towards you to connect.
86% of the time that one person makes a Bid for Connection during the course of the study, their partner Turned Towards them.
Turning Towards overall during the course of the study."
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on February 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM|
"Be Kind And Have Sex 'Till Death Do You Part"
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on February 13, 2012 at 9:55 PM|
What side of the brain do you think you use more?
Check out this website from McGraw Hill...remember to take the test to see what side of your brain is more dominant!
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on January 31, 2012 at 8:00 AM|
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on May 3, 2011 at 8:40 PM|
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on March 24, 2011 at 7:20 PM|
Ah yes. The birds are chirping, tulips are growing, and days are getting longer. We are officially in the season of Spring, and with all these changes taking place I'm sure you feel the urge to clean up your relationships. Before you get the broom and sweep people off to the side, first recognize what is at hand... Relationships with people (e.g., family, love, friends, business, etc.). We are social beings and at the end of the day the people in our lives provide us with happiness, satisfaction, and positivity. Try and identify what makes you uncomfortable now, and where you want to improve it.
Does your best friend put you down in front of other people? Does your partner reinforce your bad habits? You feel crummy after talking to that family member...but guilty if you don't? You are incredibly bored, tired, and want out of your relationship? Do people put too many demands on you, making you feel like you must have all the answers and solutions in the world?
It's understandable, we can all relate to some type of relationship like this in our lives.
Whether you decide to embark on one or all of the above, I am confident you will be happy you did. Relationships need attentive care and attention - just like growing a garden. Here are two good questions to consider before doing too much 'sweeping': How is this relationship valuable to me? And what am I willing to do to retain its worth?
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on February 24, 2011 at 11:32 PM|
Research shows that gratitude is an important emotion for good mental health. As we proceed through 2011, it is important to take time to reflect on the good things in our lives and prepare for the future. A good way to do this is by writing a letter to a friend, co-worker or loved one expressing your gratitude.
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on January 29, 2011 at 9:05 PM|
What does this Valentine's Day mean to you? Set the commercial aspect aside, will you focus on one area of your romantic relationship this February? Take 10 minutes and brainstorm new ways you can connect with your partner; either surprise them with these actions or communicate your ideas.
If you are waiting to still meet your special Valentine focus on what you can do for yourself, reward yourself with something you enjoy. Or, maybe you want to practice your art of flirting.
AskMen.com published 10 signs she's flirting with you.
In person, body language, eye contact, text messages, Facebook, kind words, pictures, gestures, smiles, laughs and tickles...how are you showing love this February?
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on January 4, 2011 at 9:30 AM|
Throw Away the Checklist
We all have a picture of what our ideal mate will be like. Tall, dark, and handsome; creative, sensitive, and smart — these qualities often become part of a mental checklist we use, consciously or not, on every new man we date. We create an idea of what we want and assume that it's only a matter of time before he comes along, right? Wrong! Having a checklist for love may actually prevent you from finding it. Even though it seems like a smart way to find what you're looking for, that mental list can cause you to miss opportunities that are right in front of you. So resist the temptation to put more energy into your expectations and open yourself up to the possibilities life presents you instead. Rather than focusing on external qualities, such as appearance, hobbies, or professional success, think about internal characteristics. Ultimately what makes for a happy couple is two people who want the same things. Finding happiness in a shared life boils down to having common values, not that he likes to mountain climb, is 6'2", and comes from a good family! All that is just the icing on the cake. The cake itself may be someone you never expected.
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on December 15, 2010 at 7:50 PM|
"Here are some fun exercises, all inspired by scientific studies, that you can use to deliberately create emotional intimacy with a parter—even someone you barely know:
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on September 26, 2010 at 1:57 PM|
Spivey, C. (2010). Desperation or Desire? The Role of Risk Aversion in Marriage. Economic Inquiry, 48(2), 499-516.
"For example, if both spouses work and one faces an unemployment spell, one income remains to support the couple in the interim. The shorter the time to marriage, the sooner the risk averse individual can insure themselves against exogenous income shocks. However, the higher the quality (a function of income) of a potential spouse, the greater the insurance provided against exogenous income shocks" (p. 502).
participating in those activities" (p. 513).
"Extremely intelligent and successful women may have a harder time ﬁnding partners because ‘‘men want somebody intelligent enough so that they can recognize the man’s brilliance, but not
necessarily enough to challenge them—or so smart that they ﬁnd someone else more interesting’’ (Klein 2006, 60). This could be related to why very risk averse men in the current
study marry women with lower quality compared to more risk-loving men, who may be willing to take a chance with the intelligent women" (p. 513).
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on September 19, 2010 at 8:27 PM|
How much space should we have in our relationships? It's important to grow together but you need to also tend to yourself. Focus on growing yourself in all areas of your life; mental, physical, spiritual, cultural, financial, career
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on August 9, 2010 at 10:06 PM|
"THE SPARK is the natural chemistry between two people creating desire, admiration, cooperation & respect. It's maintained naturally between two people who resonate emotionally, mentally, physically & spiritually. People wonder how the spark differs from lust. Lust gives you physical attraction and desire, and this is a... small component of the spark, but not even close to being the whole spark" (SB)!
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on July 12, 2010 at 5:33 PM|
5 Secrets to a Successful Long-Term Relationship or Marriage
By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.
|Posted by Ashley J. Kreze, MA on May 11, 2010 at 5:00 PM|
"Dr. Epstein is helping to create a new proactive kind of counseling—Love Counseling—that will help people build solid, lasting love relationships supported by the Four Pillars. He has also created an innovative, comprehensive new test of Love Skills—the seven essential skill-sets we need to be successful in long-term love relationships. The test, the Epstein Love Competencies Inventory (or ELCI, pronounced like the name "Elsie") can be taken free of charge by clicking here or by visiting MyLoveSkills.com. "