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"Wisdom comes from the experience of living. To travel the road of wisdom requires knowledge of ourselves and others…in love and hatred, in joy and sorrow, in victory and defeat. To experience life, and to know its truth, this is wisdom."

Today is a great plus a great news day!

Trista Hurley-Waxali, B.A. is joining our team as: News Co-Founder and Creative Writer. Trista has an uncanny ability to capture the reader’s attention in her writing, and relate psychological research to every day situations people go through. This allows readers to relate, gain practical, and evidence-based knowledge they perhaps, can apply to their real life.

Trista and I have known each other for almost two decades, and, after seeing the passion behind her work, I saw an opportunity for us to collaborate. With this collaboration, we can utilize our own, individual strengths, and work together towards common, meaningful goals.

Trista and I will be working together in our blog postings. Through the sharing of empiracle evidence, enlightening examples, and captivating stories, we invite you to, share and subscribe!

Two Basic Emotions In Life – Love and Fear

"Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation. For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.

John D. (Jack) Mayer says, “Emotions operate on many levels. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect. Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions.”

http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_emotions.html 

Here is a beautiful video on emotions. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=armP8TfS9Is#at=99

What is the lesson to be learned?

Tip: Listen for the total message. Hear what emotions are being shared, and how the person feels. Showing geuine care and empathy goes a long way.

Frequently in my practice I have individuals share their struggles with making life decisions. These decisions revolve around: What to do next? To stay with my partner or to leave? To find a new career or put up with my current? etc.

There really isn't an easy answer to these questions. We will all encounter various transitions in our lives and some of the answers or paths to making these decisions will come easier than others.

Clients Ask: How can I make the transition during this decision making proces easier?

Here are a few tips to keep in mind: 

• I quote Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid, "have balance, and focus"
• Write out your choices ...allowing you to empty your mind of emotion and use more logical reasoning when deciding
• And, trust your inner voice and stick to your decision. You'll feel confident you made the decision and stuck to the plan.

"Personal leadership is the self-confident ability to crystalize your thinking so that you are able to establish an exact direction for your own life, to commit yourself to moving in that direction and then to take determined action to acquire, accomplish, or become whatever that goal demands." Paul J. Meyer

What have you done to improve your personal leadership today?

Dr. John Gottman and his team share some insight into how to make your relationship more successful:

"Our research shows that the more open you are to accepting influence from your partner, the stronger the positive perspective, mutual respect, and trust will be in your relationship. Having these components in your relationship helps you and your partner to face the world together with greater confidence that comes from being supported and feeling that you are a part of a team."

Mindful Listening and Mindful Conversing.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/toddessig/2012/04/30/google-teaches-employees-to-search-inside-yourself/

Communication at its finest.

SHHHhh.....

The life of an introvert.

Can you relate to this video?

http://www.finerminds.com/happiness/the-power-of-introverts-susan-cain/

There's something special about finding quiet, alone time, and letting go of all the demands, noise, and expectations we place on ourselves, and society expects.

Take the next 10 minutes and enjoy the solitude.

Letting go of possessions, memories, or relationships can be a difficult task for most of us. Here is a good article on the benefits of letting go.

http://mnmlist.com/how-to-let-go-of-possessions/

"In our studies we found that couples who were divorced 6 years after their wedding turned toward each other only 33% of the time; the ones still together after six years had an 86% turning-toward rate." (The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman) The bottom line is that it is easy to get caught up in other things, but make an effort to turn towards one another and you're relationship will be all the better for it. K.Ramsburgh TGI staff.

"Going to someone for comfort is a Bid for Connection. Turning Towards is any form of communication both verbal and non-verbal which communicates that I hear you or see that you are making a Bid to Connect, and I am Turning Towards you to connect.

86% of the time that one person makes a Bid for Connection during the course of the study, their partner Turned Towards them.

Turning Towards overall during the course of the study."

Here's a great article on Attachment Styles.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/moody-marriage/2012/02/how-attached-are-you/

"If my numbers are right, it's smart to take the risk of trusting people, and it is also smart to know whom not to trust. I suggest 5 criteria for evaluating the trustworthiness of others: 1) honesty 2) transparency 3) accountability 4) ethics and 5) alliance." (The Science of Trust, Dr. John Gottman, pgs. 335-336)

"Be Kind And Have Sex 'Till Death Do You Part"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/be-kind-and-have-sex-till_b_1142533.html

What side of the brain do you think you use more?

Check out this website from McGraw Hill...remember to take the test to see what side of your brain is more dominant!

http://www.mcgrawhill.ca/college/feldmandinardo/blog/?p=676

The Art of Deep Breathing - http://www.youtube.com/davecarbonell#p/u/0/eRIV2R3jzaQ

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/03/110311153541.htm

Time to start the year off right with a plan of action. Call today 289-231-8479 to book your appointment and create your own life plan (forget the New Year's Resolutions!!)

http://holykaw.alltop.com/why-2012-is-your-year

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-sense/201103/put-your-cell-phone-in-your-sock-drawer-part-ii

You are a busy professional. Summer is coming to an end. You feel the pressures, the last quarter goals of 2011 are at the forefront of your mind. The new school year is close, and the nervous tension that comes with these pressures can hit a family and business hard. Not only do you have your usual duties, but kids can also feel the anxieties of starting a new year, which can impact your business and personal life.

While the causes can be something other than work stress, here are the most common symptoms and early signs of stress:

• Apathy
• Anger/irritability
• Negativism/cynicism
• Low morale
• Boredom
• Anxiety
• Frustration
• Fatigue
• Alienation
• Physical symptoms
• Absenteeism 

4 Tips For You To Deal With Stress:

1. Delete, delegate, deposit. Take 5-10 minutes at the beginning of your day to clear your desk , workspace, or living space. Doing so might help alleviate the sense of losing control that comes from having too much clutter. Keep your goals S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measureable, attainable, realistic, tangible) helps maintain focus and control in your life.

2. Talk it out. Sometimes the best opportunity to reduce stress is to simply share your thoughts with someone, either someone close to you, or a trained therapist to help you work through the changes. The act of talking it out, and seeking professional support and empathy from someone trusted can be an excellent way of increasing positivity in our lives.

3. Laugh or allow yourself to smile. Finding humour in life helps us when we start to take things too seriously. Share a joke or funny story.

4. Change the situation: remember the 4 A’s

            a) avoid

            b) alter

            c) adapt

            d) accept.

If you remember the 4 A’s when it comes to stress, it might help you work through it.

Staying positive in this modern life is an important act for us all to practice. Coping with stress isn’t easy, but with a little effort you will be back on the road to emotional wellness and well-being!

References

Hansen, R. S. (n.d.). Managing Job Stress: 10 Strategies for Coping and Thriving at Work. Retrieved from http://www.quintcareers.com/managing_job_stress.html ;

Meyer,P. J. (2011). LMI Canada Inc: Personal Leadership, “Living with Purpose”. Retrieved from http://www.lmicanada.ca/TL_Personal_Leadership.aspx